When do you know you've made it?

For those of you who know me well, you may know that I have a guilty pleasure for listening to bad rap music (sorry mom and dad). I think it's the dancer in me, who knows. So, I was working out today, which by the way is where I have my most profound thoughts, and a song by this hella awesome rapper Maino comes on and he says in one of his lyrics (those of you who know it, sing along) "...mad that I finally done made it, take a look and you can tell, that I'm destined for greatness. Tell me what do you see, when you looking at me? Who I'm mission to be, what I'm destined to be..." I got to thinking about what he means by "making it." These thoughts probably also stem from my high powered weekend full of events.

Brian and the Jonas Brothers! were in Boston for the past few days. Courtesy of my favorite, the one and only Brian Samuelson, I as well as privledged family members and friends were blessed to hold onto a purple laminent with the famous JB logo pinned to the front of it. Now, to be clear, in "tour world" (as I think the experience of this weekend can best be described), these laminents grant those who hold them access to all that is restricted to the 30,000 some odd other fans swarming the premises of the concert venue. Needless to say, and I think all those in attendance this weekend can agree with me, that it is an all mighty powerful feeling to hold one of these prized, purple, all access passes. For many moments during the weekend, I almost felt as if, and like I could be, a part of it all.

As the show days progressed, I was able to see all the work that Brian does on a daily basis (also, for anyone wondering, the photo displayed here is credit to Brian and also posted to the band's direct website :) ). The days included meeting the gorgeous and bubbly American Idol winner, Jordin Sparks, the up and coming opening band, Honor Society, hanging out with Jordin's hilarious, down to earth, passionate drum player and watching the pop Jonas sensations eat dinner and play ping pong. The funniest part? It felt so normal, as if I were meeting real live human beings! I couldn't wrap my head around the whole thing; how human and real these people we create to be larger than life actually were.

As I sat in third row, watching Jordin perform and watching the drummer, Mike, who we had hung out with days earlier for an entire night, I was completely blown away by their passion and committment to their craft. I got to thinking: I wonder if in their minds, when they are in front of those 30,000 people sharing their passion, they ever think "Wow. I've made it. This is it."

Everyone has childhood dreams. Whether it be to be the best health care provider in the nation, the next top executive, the next President of the United States, the next Michael Jackson, or becoming america's next teen pop sensation. For some of us, we dream to be famous dancers, to meet famous movie stars, to become a famous photographer, to contribute to finding a cure for cancer, end world hunger, or create world peace. Maino (mentioned above) dreamed of being a rapper, Martin Luther King had a dream for a better world, Obama has a dream to turn our country around. Who was that teen idol you dreamt of meeting? For some little girls, it's the Jonas Brothers and for some little boys, now much older, it was to meet Brutus the Barber Beefcake, the famous wrestler, who by no stroke of luck I was also able to meet this weekend (and I'm pretty sure he made many grown men's dreams this weekend as well when he handed out signed color glossy shots of himself at the Garden).

Ok, ok, so the point, Hallie. My point is, everyone has a dream. And for a brief moment this weekend, I was amongst those who have made it happen for themselves and created the environment to display their passion to the world. My question to you: what is your dream? What keeps you lying awake at night, dreaming of the day you might be able to become that well known "insert dream here?" When do you, or have you, said to yourself, "I have truly made it?"

Once you know what that dream is, create it. Go out and reach for it. And when you get there, make sure you say to yourself "Self, I've made it."

Family, and that's it.

The move is getting underway! I took my first load of stuff home this weekend to dump at my parents house, and more importantly, had an excuse to go home for a little R and R with the fam (not that I ever need an excuse).

I have never considered myself a home body. Not that I have ever considered it a bad thing at all, but my mindset has always been to go out, seek adventure, don't go home. This is probably a product (again) of a family always adventure bound. Also from grand parents and a blood line merchant marines, and world bound travelers. For these reasons, it has always been in my blood to seek adventure and explore. However, lately, I couldn't be more of a home body. This is potentially because of my imminent future: moving to somewhere completely unknown. I guess I am attempting to soak in all of the comfort I can now, since I know that I won't have it any time soon once I move.In my new found attitude for life (or should I say, more heavily practiced attitude) I found myself enjoying all of those really small moments this weekend.

Families are fascinating, aren't they? Where else can you find a group of completely like minded people who know you inside and out? Who know what makes you tick, and what absolutely ticks you off! The weekend was a mish mosh of Mom's 20 questions game, Dad playing devil's advocate to anything possible and Carrie spitting off any questions from Mom that she felt were not worthy of an answer. I sat on the couch listening to our conversation on Saturday afternoon, analyzing this that and the other thing, and all I could do was giggle to myself and think: this is it. This is the only place on earth that I am 100% myself and 100% understood, 100% of the time.

To paint perhaps one of the greatest part of the weekend: picture this. Carrie is driving, I am in the passenger seat. Mom and Dad are in the back seat, and we are on our way back from an awesome Italian dinner to get a movie and snuggle up on the couch. Mom and Dad are PURPOSELY trying to get Carrie and I to cringe while joking about how they should make out in the back seat. The two of them are giggling trying to get our goat, while I crank the music to tune them out so Carrie and I can jam to Michael Jackson. Blasting Jackson Five's "I want you back", the four of us proceed to scream the song at the top of our lungs in tribute to the King of Pop himself. I cracked a smile and thought: GOD, what dorks! Any onlooker would think we are a bunch of nutcases right now, and many people probably do. But who the hell cares, because its who we are and who we've got.

The end of the weekend wrapped up with a sunny evening dinner on the deck. All I could think on the way home, was how lucky I feel to have a functional, happy family who can only be described as "painfully normal" with some pretty hilarious quirks. I only hope I can be as lucky to create what my parents have created for us. Through years together, they have managed to maintain the bond that started the whole thing to begin with. Through the ups and downs of life, through work that is always demanding, a world that continues to speed up and where broken is more of the norm, they have never lost sight of what is most important. Family, and each other, and that is it.

We all have our own unique family history, and stories. And God bless us all to never lose sight of this most important factor in life.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

My cousin sent me this quote this afternoon, and it matches the idea I had yesterday for this post. I thought it'd be appropriate to title, as this quote is one of the most simple, poignant lessons in life.

As I was driving home yesterday, amoungst the usual "masshole" (sorry if that offends anyone) drivers, finding myself all worked up over my commute, a commercial came on the radio that got me thinking. It was for Wendy's, I believe, and the commercial was referencing how fast we all move on a daily basis. The man made a joke about how, we are moving so fast that when we stop to grab a bite to eat, we usually wind up burning the top of our mouths because we are rushing to eat so fast to get to the next thing. "Work, work, work, go, go go!" The commercial then states how buying a Wendy's salad somehow makes you stop and enjoy the delicious taste of the tender bites of chicken and walnuts, blah blah blah. I got to thinking. This job in particular, has allowed me to slow down from my life and lately, this has been my absolute focus.

I have realized, that growing up in an active, involved, fast paced family has in some ways shaped the life I lead in my adulthood. This is what I have always known. Go, go, go. Do, do, do. Produce, produce, produce. Frankly, I'd say about 90% of our nation operates under these same pretenses. It is no wonder why people have chronic pain, stress and irritability. Our nation has engrained in us that we should always be looking towards the next thing to come. The future. Out there is where things will be perfect, right? Forget about right now, what about 5 years from now? 10 years from now?

Well last week, my body had had enough. My mind was so full of future thoughts. Where is my life going, what uncertainties lie ahead, what is going to happen when I move, what does my future hold? These thoughts on top of my go, go, go mindset caused my body to physically react to the stress I have been putting on myself. I had about 4 days worth of migraine headaches, which quite honestly, are agonizingly horrible and something I have never experienced before. A trip to the doctor and a few calming thoughts later, I came to a major revelation in my life. I may not know much, but I do know this now. Life is merely a compilation of small moments, day by day. None of us know what lies ahead; whether we will become the next movie stars, president, lawyers, writers, sales people, dancers, artists, executives, teachers or public figures. Whether our hearts will be broken by someone, whether we will have children of our own, live in another state, or another country. Whether our economy will continue to downturn or rise and prosper again, or whether hatred will end and peace will prevail. Whether we will be plagued with illness at a young age, whether we will live till we are 100 years old or die tomorrow. All we can do is live each day to its fullest potential.

Recently, I decided for myself that each day I wake up from now on, I am going to ask myself...what will I do today to make this day really worth it? What truly makes me happy, and how (in a world that is so INCREDIBLY sped up) will I take the time to slow down and enjoy the small moments in my day that fill my heart with the love I give?

A wise person tells me everyday, to take things one day at a time. Perhaps I haven't truly understood this concept until now. Today, my joy will be in small, simple things. Meeting a friend for coffee in the sunshine on the grass. My drive home to CT and all the small moments I spend with myself in my car, listening to music and feeling the wind on my face. The glass of wine I will share with my parents over conversation on the deck. These small moments are now ways I consider how to slow down in this fast world we are a part of. Like that feeling of buying a brand new dress, that's just waiting to be worn in your closet. Make each moment like that feeling. Because life is only made up of moments that matter, and if we move too quick, we will miss them all.

I am choosing to take this wise person's advice. One day at a time. And if you ask me, its a good day so far.

IM MOVING!

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on here, but have recently decided that this blog will serve as a way to keep updated and remember the small details over the next period of my life because...I AM MOVING!

Yup. That's right. Shit. And, YAY! All at the same time. Since I was about a Junior in college, I remember telling my parents constantly that I wanted to move to the West Coast. I always had this idea in my mind that I wanted to adventure beyond the east, live somewhere else, meet new people, challenge myself, and continue this constant movement that seems to bless and plague my life, all at the same time. And now, I am finally doing it.

The hitch was about this whole idea, that I had to be smart. We are in an economic recession, where the unemployment rates to where my dream location in California would be are near 11%. The worst in the nation. Who the HELL, with steady income, friends, home and food, in their right mind would move in this economy to the WORST place in the nation for unemployment? Oh, and did I mention, without nearly any savings either? Not me. I couldn't do it, unless I did it the right way.

So I interviewed with EF, my old company, to work again in what I am passionate about: educational travel. I know the company, I know what they offer, I love the people, and I know the jobs like the back of my hand. And they had just opened a new office in LA county. Perfect. Done. Secured (post 3 interviews, might I add, and a slightly grueling interview process).

I recently went to a movie with my best friend and my roommate called "Away We Go." If you haven't seen it yet, it is an absolute MUST. The movie is inspiring, funny and touching. The take home message that I got was that life is uncertain. We don't know where it will take us, but perhaps the most important thing is to approach life with love. Love yourself first. When you love yourself, you can let love for others in. Love those who are close to you in your life. And then, share it. And even beyond that, pursue happiness. Take risks. Jump! You will be ok and life will work out the way it is supposed to. Have faith. Have faith in good, and righteousness, and happiness. And take solice in the small moments of each day, one day at a time.

These are the small, yet big lessons I have learned in the past weeks through perhaps one of the most difficult times I have had thus far, even though it could have been a whole lot worse.

So, away I go! Stay tuned for updates...